17-year-old's absentee father strictly forbids them from attending a concert, but the teen laughs and denies his authority: 'Now he wants to suddenly parent me during his twice-yearly visits?'

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Dec 19, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Just because you're someone's biological parent doesn't mean you have absolute authority over every decision they make in life, especially once they're already a teenager. If a parent has been absent for their kid's entire childhood, it's a little late to swoop in and lay down the law with a rebellious teen. Like when King Théoden in The Lord of the Rings chuckles at Gandalf as the evil Saruman took over his mind, saying, "You have no power here."

An absentee father realized he had no power over his 17-year-old's decisions during his biannual visit. 

After a lifetime of avoiding paying child support and leaving the teenager's mother to fend for herself and their baby, this man suddenly decided he wanted to be a part of his kid's life. However, instead of supporting one of his kids' hobbies or feigning interest in something they liked, he came in and started stomping on their social plans instead. Like a power-hungry, totalitarian dad, he strictly forbade the teen to go to a concert, for which they already had tickets. 

Much to his surprise, the teen laughed instead of crumbling under the pressure. Instead of yielding to the dad's pushy behavior, this teen pushed back and defended a lifetime of being free of his dad's opinion, helpful or otherwise. 

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  • Teen trying to persuade his father to let him go hang out with his friends.
    via Kindel Media

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITJ for telling my dad "no contributions, no say" when he tried to parent me
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • My parents split when I was like 3. My dad moved to a different state for work and I've seen him maybe twice a year since then. He doesn't pay child support -
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • He doesn't pay child support - there was some legal thing where he got out of it because my mom makes decent money.
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • My mom raised me basically solo. Paid for everything. School, clothes, sports, my car, college savings, all of it.
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • Last month my dad came to visit for a few days. First time in almost a year. I was hanging out with some friends making plans to go to a concert next month.
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • He overheard and said I'm not allowed to go because the band has explicit lyrics and he doesn't approve.
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • I kinda laughed because like what? He hasn't been around. I told him I'm going.
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • He said I need to respect his authority as my parent. That he's still my father and I need to listen to him.
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • Dad bothering his teenaged son when he's having a breakdown.
    via Kindel Media

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I said "You haven't contributed anything to raising me financially or otherwise. No contributions, no say in what I do."
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • He got really quiet and left the room. My mom heard and told me later that was harsh even if it's true. That he's still my dad and I should be more respectful.
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • But I'm 17 and he's basically been absent my whole life. Now he wants to suddenly parent me during his twice-yearly visits? Was I too harsh? AITJ?
    via Ok-Cloud-4742
  • Dad and son standing back to back.
    via Kindel Media

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Signal_Strawber... NTJ - As a parent, I cannot pick and choose when is convenient to be involve.
    via Signal_Strawber
  • midwestcurmud... NTJ. Why does he feel the need to exert jis parenting authority without doing any of the parenting work? He's a hypocrite.
    via midwestcurmud
  • chaozkitten He wants the respect of a parent without doing any of the work. You stated the simple truth he didn't want to hear
    via chaozkitten
  • carameltwizt⚫ This is the natural consequence of his choices. He chose to live in another state, he chose not to pay support, he chose minimal contact. For 17 years, your mom did the heavy lifting. Now, at the
    via carameltwizt
  • tail end of your childhood, he wants to step in and make rules? That's not parenting, that's control. You pointing out the lack of contribution wasn't disrespectful, it was factual. He's hurt because the reality of his absence just got laid bare in a way he can't ignore.
    via carameltwizt
  • Teen son crying in his room with a dad trying to confort him.
    via Kindel Media

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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teenagers concert parenting family Father
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